18 Dec

(The title uses a fragment from an old anecdote about not understanding each other)
Non-science fiction drama in two parts, no intermission
The place of action is not important, but neutral waters are preferable so as not to offend anyone.
The characters are participants of a continuous logistics process and animated natural phenomena.

Action one - port
- A lot of work. A lot of work. There are few people. We will not meet the schedule if we poke around. Let's fix the container only on sides somehow, well, as usual, "lipstick make up" and let it sail.
Shipper 1:
- Hurray, finally we were given boxes. We asked for more, but we will close at least part of the order before the holidays. Only there is no time at all. If we don't get into the booking, then you can wait six months. I heard some lines for three months in advance, orders are not accepted. There is no time for securing the cargo inside the container. We fix what we can, the rest with plywood and “scotch” tape for a look. Although, the container is closed, nobody sees it.
Shipper 2:
- Is our material a dangerous cargo? Come on. It takes a long time to get all permissions. We won't make it to booking, we will lose the contract, the expiration date will expire. Oh, let's come up with a nice name and "forget" to attach MSDS to docs set. The container is closed, who will understand there.
Shipper 3:
- You can't fasten the load such way!
- I have been putting sparkling water on the shelves of supermarket since the age of 18, I know everything about logistics!
- But this is bad packaging, everything will fall apart ... It's not a supermarket, it's the sea!
- Shut up, I'm boss here. And the target is to be cheap!
- They promised to load the cargo this week. If we don't run into rollover as usual, I won't have time to prepare the warehouse. Okay, come and see. Let's sell these fireworks “off the wheels”. Or, we'll keep it a little, no one will notice until the holidays.
- When I wanted to become a captain as a little boy, I thought that I would see different countries. Now I am the captain, and not only do not see the land, I sign papers all day and read new regulations and notifications without going out into the fresh air. Okay, the chief officer will figure it out. Moreover, the ship is new and large.
First Mate (aka cargo officer):
- Again, a movie about the sea ... I've been on board for a year now, and no one is going to change me. They say the virus, quarantine, planes do not fly, tests are not done, there are no vaccinations. How tired I am, and I want to go home.
- It looks like the ship is large, almost 15 thousand boxes fit. And again, they will cast it in less than a day. We won't make it to the city.- So they won't be allowed into the city. Quarantine.
- Guys, will they fix us?
- No, they say that we are greatly lacking. At the port of discharging they will repair.
Shipowner / operator:
- Faster, even faster, generally very fast! Every day costs money.
They are surprised to see what is happening, interrupting for a meal.
- Disgrace...

Second action - water is everywhere
- So, no one is going anywhere (ships sail). Have they even looked at the weather forecast, or are they again drawing arrows on the computer? Also, this plastic, there is already a whole island floating out of it. I will fasten the wave with plastic to make it more effective.
News feed:
- The biggest accident in the open ocean happened today. Almost 2 thousand containers were lost, some of them with dangerous goods. "TWO OPUS", one of the newest container ships, has not managed with the weather conditions and is returning home.
- Wow, how many bubbles ... It's good that it is deep here and will not crush anyone.
- Now we will definitely not be repaired and will not even be found. It is dark, damp and pressure, from which is deforming our walls. We will keep the cargo as much as we can in ourselves, until we fall apart because of time.
Insurance Company:
- Reporters advise a possible loss of cargo over $ 200 million. What they understand is just the tip of the iceberg ... In any case, we will find out which of the regulations was violated, who is to blame for the loss and who will compensate it. And it will definitely not be us. Who is flying to place? We take a group of the most meticulous. Inform them that the inspection of the place will be at least a month, so that they will be angrier from the fact that they will not get home for the holidays.
Shipowner / operator:
- Damn ... Maybe "General Average" to declare? Let’s all participants share in the losses...
They are surprised to see what is happening, interrupting for a meal.
- Maybe even now they will think ... Although hardly. Well then, see you again.

The curtain. Titles. Waves are turning thunderous applause turning into a standing ovation.